Thursday, November 13, 2008

Murphy's Laws of Motorcycling

A "Filler" Posting for y'all (with commentary as applicable):

1. The farther it is to the next gas stop, the larger the bug that will hit your shield exactly on the sight line.

2. When you dry out after riding through some rain, it will start raining again just when you begin to feel comfortable. (or right after you've stowed away the rain liners in my case)

3. The chance that your motorcycle insurer will find out about that big ticket received in a non-reciprocal state is 100%. (the one ticket I've gotten on a motorcycle got counted in my cager insurance policy, not my motorcycle insurance, go figure)

4. If you run out of gas, no matter which way you decide to push, the closest gas station will always be uphill and in the other direction. Corollary: The likelihood of running out increases when all of the nearby gas stations are closed. (even 100 ft, while on a slight incline, can be a bear when you've a heavy motorcycle!)(Never buy a motorcycle you can't push)

5. The chance of your helmet dropping hard onto a rough concrete or asphalt surface is proportional to its newness and expense.

6. You only realize the motorcycle's keys are in your street pants pocket after you've put on all of your riding gear. (yep, same for earplugs being thought of AFTER you've cinched on your helmet)

7. The more riders around, the more likely you will: a. Forget the kill switch is in the off position while trying to start your motorcycle; b. Ride off with the sidestand down; c. Ride off with the petcock closed; d. Ride along for miles with the turn signal on; e. Get stung by a bee and do a roadside crazy dance shedding your riding gear. (that's the benefit of riding alone mostly, no witnesses to my having done a, c, d and e! I would have done b as well but my motorcycles were dom-proofed in that regard.)

8. The scarcity of motels and camping spots depends on how late in the day it is. (I am sure I was Mr. popular that one night I camped near Jackson's Hole, riding about the campground in the dark, searching for an empty spot in the dark!)

9. Your first successful multi-gear wheelie will be past a heretofore unobserved police officer who dislikes motorcycles. (too chicken to do wheelies, not to mention neither of my motorcycles is what you'd call light in weight or high-powered)

10. How long it takes to receive any back ordered part is proportional to how badly it is needed.

11. When your throttle cable snaps, you will always coast to a halt in front of a crack-house bust in progress.

12. The patch-wearing guy named "Tiny" really DOES want to know what you are looking at.

13. Your battery will die at the exact same time something else on the motorcycle breaks and you will think they are related. (replaced a battery, turned out to be lack of experience with starting a cold carbureted engine, now have a spare battery....sigh)

14. The cute girl is probably talking to you despite the fact you own a motorcycle. (cute girls? what cute girls? I've got to quit lifting up my faceshield and letting my face show!)

15. The chance of rain depends on how accessible your rain gear is.

16. A bad day of riding is better than a good day at work. (Concur!)

I found the above here: LINK

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